How Understanding Your Love Language Can Help Your Self-Love Practice

Over 20 self-care ideas for you to try!

Have you taken the test to determine what your love language is? There’s a book written by Gary Chapman called “The 5 Love Languages” and if you make your way to his website you can take the test and learn your love language for free.

The five love languages defined by Gary Chapman are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch. Once you discover your personalized love language it has the power to change all of your relationships.

If you are in a romantic relationship you can take the test with your significant other to learn how communicating and caring for your partner is best received and most appreciated.

But it’s not only a tool for those who are in romantic relationships. Knowing the love language of your friends, parents, children and co-workers can greatly improve the relationships you have with them.

However, I believe that this test’s most important use is to strengthen the relationship you have with yourself. By understanding the love language that you speak, it will be easier for you to meet your own self-care and self-love needs.

Below I’ve given you examples of how to practice each love language so be sure to take the test so that you can apply them to yourself effectively!

Words of Affirmation

This language uses affirming words to feel loved.

Words are important to you. Your thoughts and how you speak to yourself are perfect opportunities to create a better relationship with yourself.

💗 Positive talk is an extremely effective practice, especially in times of stress. Replace negative thoughts like “I don’t know” with “I’ll figure it out” and “I can’t do this” with “I can do this” and “I suck” with “I’m trying my best”. How these small changes can make you feel better will surprise you.

💗 Write some kind messages to yourself. Writing little notes to yourself and leaving them all over the place (your bathroom mirror, fridge, laptop, inside your wallet) can be another great way to remind you to be nicer. Examples can be things like You’re Doing Great, Check You Out, Your Potential Is Endless, or You Got This. I have a post-it on my hairdryer that says “Hey hot stuff” which always makes me feel good.

💗 Change your lock screen to an affirmation or an inspirational quote that puts you in a good mood everytime you read it. If you need some suggestions, head over to my Pinterest board, “Self Love Reminders”.

💗 Listen to affirmations while you are out for a walk or as you are going to bed. This is a playlist full of affirmations for many different topics.

💗 Verbal positive affirmations are powerful too. This requires you to speak positive words aloud to yourself. The key is to say something that you believe to be true. Affirmations can also be recited aloud while you make your morning coffee or do your evening skincare routine. “I am being divinely guided”, “I rock”, “Everything is always working out for me”, and “Today is going to be a great day” are some more examples.

💗 Try EFT. This is the Emotional Freedom Technique, also known as tapping. While tapping on acupressure points on your face, chest and hands you talk through what is causing you anxiety and reframe what you tell yourself to be positive and forgiving. Your words plus the gentle tapping change the vibration of energy in your body, can help to calm your nervous system, and make you feel more at peace. Gala will guide you through some very powerful tapping sessions.

Using language in positive ways throughout your day will infuse your day with more love if your love language is Words of Affirmation.

Acts of Service

This language requires acts of service to feel loved.

Do meaningful things for yourself. Infuse your ordinary daily tasks with a little extra love. This is about going the extra mile for yourself. It may be hard to think about how you can perform acts of service to yourself but I think it’s the intention that goes into these acts that will fill you with appreciation for yourself.

💗 Get responsible subscriptions. These convenient subscriptions will make you feel like someone else is doing the work for you. Get meal prep delivered to your house or have fresh cleaning supplies sent to you every month. Grab dog treats, cat litter, kids’ toys, wine, socks, etc from a subscription and you’ll never have to worry about those tasks on your to-do list again.

💗 Keep your creative space organized. Throw away clutter, decorate it in your favourite colours, keep it functional, put up an inspiration board or tack your bucket list to your corkboard so that you can always see it. This will help to make spending time doing work in your space more exciting and less of a chore.

💗 What have you always wanted to learn? Take some locally offered classes in photography, speaking Spanish, ballroom dancing, cooking, woodworking or whatever interests you. Invest in your hobbies a little more if you’ve just been dabbling in them. Take the plunge by buying new equipment, make yourself a website and offer your services to others, or just start sharing your work with more people.

💗 Keep your beauty appointments scheduled in advance. Next time you are getting your lashes done, or your bikini waxed, or your nails done book your next visit. That way it’ll come around without you having to fret over it. Plus it gives you something to look forward to.

💗 Schedule your health appointments in advance too. Health is so important and you’ll thank yourself for keeping up with your teeth cleaning and physicals.

Investing in yourself is the key ingredient for those whose love language is Acts of Service.

Receiving Gifts

This language uses gifts to feel loved.

If receiving gifts is your love language don’t feel as though it’s all about spending money on material goods. It’s also about the small and thoughtful gestures.

💗 Buy yourself flowers. Don’t wait for someone else to buy them for you. This small gift can put a smile on your face whenever you walk into the room.

💗 When you are buying material goods only buy what brings you joy. That way you will always be surrounded by things you adore. Remember this next time you shop: If you don’t LOVE it, don’t BUY it.

💗 Purchase items that fill your senses with pleasure to ground you into the present moment when using them. A candle that you love the smell of. A mug that you love to hold. Art that you love to look at. That way you can take a little moment for yourself when using them.

💗 Get fun subscriptions! Subscriptions to fun things will make you feel like you are receiving gifts every month. These days there is a subscription for nearly everything; makeup, fresh flowers, perfume, jewelry, books, bath bombs, candles, etc. Plus who doesn’t love getting things in the mail!?

💗 Start collecting keepsakes from special moments. Concert tickets from the concert you went to with your bestie. Movie stubs from that great date you went on. Photobooth strips from your girls’ trip. Plane tickets from your last adventure. These items will serve as a reminder of all the memories.

For those whose love language is Gifts, spending your hard-earned cash on something that you adore is exactly what the doctor ordered.

Quality Time

This language needs quality time to feel loved.

Spending quality time with yourself can be hard especially when you live with a partner or roommate or have children. Carving out some extra time for just you is important. If you can manage to get some alone time in the house here are some things you can try.

💗 Meditation is very simple and it can be incredibly rewarding. Those whose love language is quality time would highly benefit from this practice as it helps to quiet the mind and allows you to be present with yourself. Five to ten minutes a day is all you need. At first, you may struggle with it, quieting the mind is not exactly an easy task. Just try to focus on your breath. When your mind starts to wander, bring it back to the breath. Before you know it, you’ll be finished and you’ll feel relaxed and recharged. You’ll walk away with a little more room in your head. Here is a wonderful channel full of free guided meditations.

💗 Something else you can do is play some of your favourite music and dance to it. This will take you out of your head and get you into your body. Let loose! It doesn’t matter what you look like, skill or not, having fun is the key here. Hanging out with yourself and pretending you are in your favourite artist’s music video with a hairbrush in hand is the name of the game.

💗 If you would rather get out of the house to enjoy your quality time then I highly suggest going on a solo date. Take yourself to the movies, see a show at the theatre or go out to dinner and have that glass of wine. Get dressed up as if someone spectacular was taking you out. Because someone spectacular is taking you out. You.

💗 Taking a solo trip is another great idea for spending quality time with yourself. See a neighbouring city or town. Drive for hours in a direction you’ve never gone before. You learn a lot about yourself when you are forced to make quick decisions and act spontaneously.

💗 Take some time to write in your journal about your day before you go to bed. This is a great personal practice and an excellent way to de-stress. It can help you to access your emotions and dig a little deeper with yourself. It will also help you sleep because you’ve taken everything out of your mind and written it down. Plus you get the added enjoyment of documenting your daily adventures which are super fun to read every once in a while.

To help those whose love language is Quality Time establish a good self-care practice, spending time with yourself is truly essential.

Physical Touch

This language requires physical touch to feel loved.

Those whose love language is physical touch are the touchy-feely type. They love to hold hands and hug and be physically close to others. But how can you replicate this with yourself?

It’s all about the body.

💗 Soak in a hot bath. Try using Epsom salts, lavender-scented bubbles or a fizzy bath bomb. This can be ultra-soothing. Afterwards, lather yourself with rich moisturizers. You won’t be able to help but touch your soft skin!

💗 Physical touch doesn’t only need to happen in your bathroom. Why not hang out naked around the house? This might scare some, but I wrote an article on how to start loving your nude body again to help you understand some of the benefits of this act. For those whose love language is physical touch, it can be so rewarding to spend time with the air on your skin and you can take time to look in the mirror at your whole self.

💗 Choose textures that feel good on your skin. It may sound simple, but wearing what feels good will change your whole mood. There is nothing worse than feeling too restricted in your outfit or wearing fabric that makes you itch. Choose your outfits wisely and prioritize how wearing them will feel.

💗 Move your body! Whether this is some yoga first thing in the morning, going to the gym to get a workout in, taking a walk after work, attending a dance class or stretching before going to bed. Moving your body is not only great for your health but it can also connect us to ourselves in a physical way. Using our muscles and getting our sweat on is a way to show your body that you care about it.

💗 When you touch yourself you can give thanks to that body part for all that it has done for you like this: Thank you thighs for always keeping me strong and sturdy, Thank you to my back for always bending and never breaking or Thank you dear shoulders for carrying everything and making it look so easy.

Taking care of that body and giving love to every inch of your skin will light up those whose love language is Physical Touch.

Final Thoughts

Once you discover your Self Love Language it becomes easier to make yourself feel good. Many ideas in this list may work for you but depending on your love language, some will work better than others. Use any of the ideas listed above and feel free to experiment and come up with some of your own. I encourage everyone to try two things from their list and see how it makes them feel.

And if anyone is curious I have two love languages that are almost tied; Quality Time and Physical Touch. Tell me yours and which self-care ideas you are trying in the comments below!